Ha!
Fete has placed one step above The Leaky Cauldron on Bloghop today. Of course, TLK has over a thousand more votes than I do. *grin*

New banners by Mannequinskin for me:

6:00pm

Mood: wha...?
Song: Cold Cold Night - The White Stripes

ALRIGHT, SO THINGS ARE ALRIGHT...
Life is so strange. Especially when you're homeless, jobless and nineteen. Over the past couple of months I felt like my family had lost everything dear to us (and even those things not so dear). We lost our money, our home, the respect of our church family, the betrayal of my sisters family, the hardships of British Columbia's fuckered up welfare system and finally my own bed. I almost lost my beloved Ginny until things started turning around a little.

It seems that life is not so bad when you get to the darkest corner and look out on everybody else. So, I share a room with my mother now. So, I have only a shower instead of a bath. So, I can only eat microwaveable foods. So, my sister betrayed me. What is the bright side through all of this? My mother and I have become friends. I'm guessing the shared space and terrible circumstances have forced us to give up fighting over every little thing that passes by. We spend almost 95% of our time together now and I like it. I'm even beginning to trust her again. We talk late into the night, cry together, eat together and look for work together. I guess it was bound to happen when we are all each other has right now. Where we are staying we have a living room, a bedroom, a bathroom and a patio all to ourselves on the bottom level of a families home. It's a little cool in the evenings but I always liked bundling up to sleep. There is no cable reception so we have a maximum of three clear channels to watch ... but I don't watch the tele anyway. We have a microwave but no stove so I haven't had healthy food in a few weeks... but I'm not complaining too much.

Now what has happened is that the family we are staying with has decided to let us stay with them until the Housing Registry can give us a subsodized home to rent from. British Columbia is a wealthy province so that means lovely three story homes. Because we are homeless (without a home of our own) we are on the top of the waiting list. That means that it will be a matter of weeks before we have a home to live from. And on top of that we made a discovery about me that will change my life forever. I'm bipolar. I don't know why anybody was shocked. Read my journal. I'm just glad I know what's going on now.

Now we have money for food and even to go and see Reloaded come this Sunday afternoon. It's almost better than it used to be in a strange way. And online I've been lj'ing it up. I have a White Stripes themed layout, a dozen personalised icons and even a few new friends. As of late I've been pretty busy with fanlistings. I just find them really fun. Dorky. But fun. (As you can see to your right). Life is getting better. *sigh*

ISABELLE by Siegfried Kramer


2:50pm

BLITZ
Things have been alright. I'm alive.
I am sad and feeling very alone, but alive and at least a little rested. I can honestly say it's all better than living in my car. My mother and I share space. We don't have a cooker but we do have a microwave and a fridge. I wake up every morning with the sunlight blinding me through bright white lace cutains. Then I get up, pour milk into a bowl of cherrios and sit down in the much too large rocking chair in my flannel jamers and try to wake up. Sometimes I drink peach tea and eat dry toast instead. Sometimes mam makes french toast. Today is was a fruit that tasted to me like a pear and an apple. It made the most lucious wet cracking sound when I bit into it.

I had a bad sleep. I just lay there for hours crying on my back, my mind drifting from my last fight with mam (we have many in a day) and my favorite slash moments. I like to think about Rube's Garish and the moment that Snape reads Harry's letter "I want you." And from Ivy's Belong when Draco thinks about Harry's thigh's as "those thighs". And in FearlessDiva's Tissue Of Silver when Draco calls Harry a cock tease. And in Elizabeth's Sin Laced Sweet Infatuation when Draco pulls out his handcuffs. It's late at night (or early morning) that I realise how much slash means to me. I really see it as an art form.

PHOTOGRAPHY
I think I'm going to go back to school. I'm going to go to University when summer school starts. I'm thinking heavily about Photography. I know it seems like it would be obvious that I take writing classes but writing would turn into a job for me if I was forced to write about specific subjects. I can go to any school I want for free because I have native status my father was Cree and his great grandfather was the chief of Thunderchild (i.e. the band my family belongs to). they will pay for me if I ask. It would also be so much easier for me to help pay my bills. They give you money to live with and the money for school so that could be very good for me. I'm thinking very heavily about it. Encourage me.

NOTES
I am jsut really, really greatful for the friends I have. I was completely shocked and delighted to open up my post box and find a letter from FearlesDiva just asking me how I was doing in life. I just really felt loved. She is so wonderful. She makes me wish I was bisexual. *smile* And I cannot love Lunarennui enough for simply being there over he past few weeks. It just means the entire world to me. And though I do not know Ivy her writing means a lot to me. I always forget about things around me when I'm reading her work. She is special to me. Speaking of Ivy. I feel terrible! I asked Lunarennui to do the HP Recs poll this month and inform the nominated authors and Ivy was upset that we had told her ahead of time. She actually told me that when she won last November's poll with Innocence and I completely forgot. I feel terrible.